Think of your life as an Olympic game. There are more or less four outcomes: Gold, Silver, Bronze, or No medal. Gold medal is for those who have fulfilled all their expectations from life. They are calm, full of energy and have purpose in life. There are others (most of us) who sometimes feel self-doubt, lack of direction or emptiness. It is for those I suggest: start by asking yourself “how am I tracking in my life’s Olympic Game? Will I land a Gold, Silver, or Bronze? Or am I still on the starting line?”
If the answer is anything other than Gold the good news is, it’s not too late. You can pick yourself up at any stage of your life, set goals and achieve that gold medal. Only you control this.
If the answer is, you are already on your way to achieving the Gold Medal, I would say, ‘Good on you’. Wait, is this based on the best version of yourself?
No matter where you are in your journey there is only one sure thing which will help you prevail and that is ‘Clarity’. Clarity in your beliefs, clarity in your actions, clarity in where you are heading and why. In the game of life, growing up we are told what to believe in. We are told that’s not possible, don’t attempt it, success is hard or not for everyone. We often cling to the little successes we have in one or two areas of life. We don’t even know what’s possible in life or try to see what’s around the corner. We form opinions or beliefs based on someone else’s experience. Sometimes we don’t even know what our real wants and needs are. We are being judged by others on opinions they carry, who knows how they inherited them.
Isn’t this a disservice to ourselves if we don’t strive to understand what we should really believe in, what works and not, what holds us back and what propels us forward? Why we do what we do, and which actions matter? Our life is the result of our thoughts and actions. There is always a decision behind every action, you can start your journey to clarity by learning how to make effective decisions. Effective decisions are always aligned with your goals and values.
Beliefs influence decision and actions.
Our brain looks for patterns in any situation. These patterns are the result of our experiences, belief system and values. The very first response or decision, usually in the form of instinct or gut feeling or an emotion, is a result of these patterns. But this first response also restricts us to not consider other options, or another perspective, by introducing biases. Even if we sit down to go over the situation, it tries to lead us to known ways. If you have extensive experience in the situation then the instincts might be helpful in decision making but not always. Like you need a doctor who prescribes you medicine with clarity not instincts. We all need Clarity to make effective decisions, eliminating biases. Clarity is when you make decisions and take actions knowing which belief works and which stops you from taking action. How often do we seek clarity in decision making? Maybe it is not familiar to us to use it in addressing situations.
There are three stages of Clarity.
Aware– I feel it’s difficult to differentiate which opinion or belief is based on your experience. When you take an action in any situation, you are making decisions, consciously or subconsciously relying on your belief system. Sometimes adopted beliefs or opinions may not be aligned to your real needs and wants, so actions may not result in the desired outcome. The very first step into seeking clarity is by being aware that the belief or opinions you have may not be yours; so it’s best to constantly check on them with some feedback mechanism. Accept the belief as yours when it propels you and is aligned to your wants and needs and you have confirmed it with your experience. We should never be too confident about the beliefs we hold in any given situation, so watch for the stories we tell ourselves in the situation.
Driven– This is the stage when you are gaining skills in identifying which belief works, able to discard limiting beliefs and focus on building a systematic roadmap to achieve the goal in any given situation. You know you must engage with an SME (subject matter expert) if you don’t have experience in handling the situation and you are prepared to learn new skills only to achieve the goal.
Internalise – This is the stage where you have developed or renewed the belief system and feel confident you can tackle any situation. You have the clarity of what you do and why you do it and what matters. You may also have clarity in what the transformed version of you will be. You are on your way to being the best version of you.
I can provide you with the tools to achieve the first two stages but only your clarity can take you forward to get the Gold Medal in your life’s Olympics.